josephschmitt.me

In an alternate, rational universe:

Ten minutes into oral arguments over whether or not homosexuals should be allowed to marry one another, a visibly confounded Supreme Court stopped legal proceedings Tuesday and ruled that gay marriage was “perfectly fine” and that the court could “care less who marries whom.”

“Yeah, of course gay men and women can get married. Who gives a shit?” said Chief Justice John Roberts, who interrupted attorney Charles Cooper’s opening statement defending Proposition 8, which rescinded same-sex couples’ right to marry in California. “Why are we even seriously discussing this?”

Six months ago, 31-year-old “roving do-gooder” Aaron Jackson bought a house that was for sale directly across from the Westboro Baptist Church, the very worst place on the planet aside from Guy’s American Kitchen. Jackson and his group, Planting Peace, plan to turn the home — which they’ve dubbed Equality House — into a base for gay-advocacy efforts. And just to piss off those Westboro freaks, they’ve painted a big, gay rainbow on it.

jmdickinson:

We fit the metric for “most happy” so well that they decided to use a Vimeo picture for the article.

Ooof, I’m not exactly looking my best there. Glad my back is turned.

The president’s top priority should not be to “avoid terrorist killings on their watch.” If that’s the case, why have impediments like due process and “unreasonable” search and seizure? Requiring police to have probable cause and a warrant to conduct searches absolutely impinges on the president’s ability to fulfill his top priority, avoiding terrorist killings—so why have them?

It’s something obvious to most people: because there are contravening priorities, like individual freedom, that we all find more important than safety. Safety is not our top priority—it is a priority that must be pursued without harming others.